All My Life, Could Just Something Go Right
by Pineapple Moon
Summary: Jess' first day back at school goes from bad to worse. It doesn't help that Luke and Lorelai have been in a 'disagreement' for the past week. Sixth installment in the series. Sequel to The Right Vs. Wrong Call


**I've been having issues having the linebreaks show up. Hopefully they're there.**

Dean busses another table at Luke's as the man himself takes some orders to a table. After Jess got back from the hospital a little over a week ago, Dean offered to help Luke out since he's short staffed. Dean smirks as he spots Jess sneaking down for the fifth time today.

"He's gonna catch you." Dean whispers as he walks past Jess' hiding spot by the stairs.

"Not if someone doesn't narc on me again." Jess snarks back.

Dean rolls his eyes. "I didn't _narc_ on you. I said hi. How was I supposed to know Luke's been keeping you under lock and key?"

Jess shushes him. "Keep your voice down. It's been nine days, I need more social interaction than the Brady Family, and Gilligan and crew."

Dean tries to smother a laugh. "Daytime tv that bad, huh?"

"The worst. Makes me _excited_ for school tomorrow, if only because it gets me away from here."

They both look up as the bell above the diner door rings and Rory comes in with some bags from the office store. Her face lights up when she spots Dean and Jess.

"Jess! I didn't know-"

Jess gestures for her to stop talking, but the damage is already done. Luke's head spins around so fast, Jess is surprised it doesn't give him whiplash.

"What do you think you're doing down here?" Luke marches over to his hiding spot, hands on his hips. "You should be upstairs resting."

Jess groans. "But I'm so _bored._ I'm not doing anything strenuous, I'm just standing here talking. _Lorelai_ would let me stand here and talk." He mutters the last part under his breath.

Apparently he didn't mutter the last part as quietly as he thought, because Luke goes straight from annoyed to pissed. "Well, _Lorelai_ isn't your guardian, _I am!_ And I'm sorry if that disappoints you, my friend, but that's just the way it is! Now go upstairs!"

"Fine!"

"Good!"

Jess stomps up the stairs, making sure to slam the door to the apartment extra hard. That's another thing, Luke and Lorelai have been in some fight ever since the hospital, but no matter how much Jess and Rory pry on their respective ends, they can't get any answers as to why. Luke's not super chatty on a good day, so Jess isn't surprised that he hasn't been able to get him to talk, but Lorelai has been stubbornly quiet too. Rory said over the phone that usually Lorelai tells her everything, but not a peep on this fight. The only scrap of information she could get was that Lorelai insists that her and Luke are in a 'disagreement', not a fight. After that Lorelai changes the subject.

With a huff, Jess turns on his stereo and starts blasting a Clash CD he borrowed from Lane. A few minutes later the door opens and Rory comes in cautiously. With a sigh, he turns the music down to a more tolerable level.

"How'd you get the evil stepmother to let you up here?"

"Well, Rapunzel, he's gotten pretty immune to my batting-of-the-eyelashes trick, but I convinced him once your music started scaring away customers." She motions for him to scoot his feet over and sits down on the edge of his bed. "You know Luke is only acting like this because he cares. He was really worried during your surgery and just wants to make sure you don't push yourself too hard."

Jess sighs. As painful as it is for him to admit it, he knows she's right. "I just wish he would lighten up a little. I'm getting the stitches removed in two days _and_ going back to school tomorrow. I think I can handle standing in place. Any luck convincing your mom to step foot in the diner again?"

"That would be a negative. And I'm guessing by Luke's hostile reaction downstairs by just the mention of my mom that you haven't made any progress either?"

"That would be a negative." Jess parrots her.

Rory smiles weakly. "Well, we'll just give it time. Their fight will blow over eventually." She tries to stay positive. "In the meantime, I brought you presents!" She holds up the bags she had brought with her.

With a grin, Jess sits up and starts to dig through them. He frowns at the contents and looks up at her. "You shouldn't have. Seriously." He didn't think she actually _had_ office supplies in the bags.

"I figured, with you being cooped up here the whole time, that you haven't had the chance to get your school supplies yet. I took the liberty of looking over Dean's school list since you're both seniors at the same school, and made a few adjustments that I knew would help."

Jess gives her an amused look as he pulls out three highlighters. "Let me guess, having three of every type of writing utensil is one of _your_ adjustments?"

"Hey! It's a finely honed system after years of trial and error." She defends herself.

"So you really had a time where one pen ran out ink and you had lost your second one?"

Rory shifts. "Well, no, but it could happen! And now you won't have to worry about it!" He raises a brow at her as he tosses the highlighters back into the bag. "I've been really stressed about this fight between Mom and Luke, okay! And when I get stressed I shop for office supplies!"

Jess drops his act and sets the bags on the floor so he could scoot closer to her. "Hey, as much as the Office Depot stock would hate for me to say, I'm sure Mom and Dad will kiss and make up soon. It's like you said, this will all blow over in time."

Rory crosses her arms. "But what if it doesn't? This has to be one of their worst fights ever, even worse than the time Mom snuck up on Luke and he dropped the full coffee pot during the breakfast rush."

Jess scoffs. "Please, that was way worse. There was coffee and glass _everywhere,_ and they still made up after two weeks." Rory still doesn't look convinced. "How about this, if they still haven't made up by Friday, we'll pull a Lindsay Lohan and Parent Trap them. Alright?" Rory nods, looking a little better. "Great!" Jess leaps off his bed, heading to the plastic containers in the corner of his room that hold all his CDs. "Now, how about you help me organize these by genre and year that they were released."

"Wow, you really _do_ need to get out of here." She comments as she comes over. She cocks her head to the side. "These are already in alphabetical order."

"I am _starved_ for mental stimulation. I've done my books by original publishing date, then I did these in alphabetical order, then went and did the _books_ in alphabetical order-"

"And now you've come back to the CDs." Rory finishes. "Okey-dokey, where should I start?"

"Are you sure you feel up for school? You could stay home another day if you still-"

"Luke, for the hundredth _millionth_ time, and I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but _let me go to school_. I'm going insane cooped up here."

Jess holds his breath at the counter as Luke thinks it over. "Fine." Luke finally relents. "But take a muffin." Jess takes off the glass lid and reaches for one of the blueberry muffins. Luke slaps his hand away and hands him a pair tongs. " _Not_ with your bare hands."

Jess rolls his eyes, but does as he's told. He watches Luke settle someone's bill, all the while nibbling at the muffin. "So, has Lorelai been in today?" He asks innocently.

Blink and you would miss it, but Jess notices his uncle flinch at Lorelai's name. "Nope." He finally says, handing the customer their change. "Why the sudden curiosity in her eating habits?"

Jess shrugs. "Rory mentioned she hasn't been in all week. Just curious on what you did to lose your best customer."

"I don't know what you're yammering about." Luke deflects. "If you're eating that here, use a plate. You're getting crumbs everywhere." Without giving Jess a chance to even lift a finger, he gets the plate himself and places the torn apart muffin on top of it. He then holds the plate up and wipes the crumbs away, before setting the plate back down.

"Wow, the fight must have been _really_ bad if she didn't even have the courage to go through you to visit me this past week." Jess pretends to think out loud.

 _That_ gets some results. "Hey! She's the one choosing not to come here! Maybe if she learned to keep her opinions to herself, then we wouldn't be having this fight. And that's another thing, it's _not_ a fight, just a small disagreement."

"I thought you didn't know what I was yammering about?" Jess smirks.

"Listen, this fight is between me and Lorelai, so keep your nose out of it."

"Fight? I thought it was a disagreement."

Luke points at the door. "Out!" Jess swears he can see literal steam coming out of his ears. He hasn't had this much fun in ages.

"But, Uncle Luke, I wanna know more about this disagreement. Being raised in this broken home isn't very good for Rory and I's development."

Luke leans forward against the counter glaring holes into him. " _You're_ about to have something broken if you don't leave for school right this second."

Jess gestures to his half-eaten muffin. "But I'm still eating my breakfast. After all, it is the most important meal of the day."

Jess isn't expecting the complete shift in Luke's attitude. He takes a deep breath as he leans back and crosses his arms, eyes shifting outside for a moment before focusing back on Jess. "You know, you're right. Take all this time you need. Patty's on her way over now, she wanted to show you something anyway."

He's almost scared to ask this. "What?"

Luke smiles. "Oh, you know, just some pictures of some nice young men she'd like you to meet. She assures me they are all very easy on the eyes, and any one of them would make for a perfect future nephew-in-law."

Jess feels his face heat up as he shoots out of his seat, grabbing his backpack and muffin. "Quit laughing, you jerk! Do you know how much I've been having to dodge her all summer?!" He starts heading for the door, not waiting for a response. "God, I hate this town!" He swings to door shut, but peeks his head in as an afterthought. "And for the last time, I'm not gay!" He slams the door shut on Luke's laughing face.

"I think the lady doth protest too much." Lorelai says from his left.

He jumps, nearly dropping his muffin. "Jeez, don't sneak up on a guy like that. How long have you been standing out here anyway?"

Lorelai waves her hand dismissively, looping her other arm through his as they start walking toward the school. Normally he'd be fighting to get free, but Luke wasn't kidding about Miss Patty being on her way. This way he could get to school without getting cornered by the town dance teacher. He mentally shudders at the memory, the first time was enough for him.

"Oh, not long. Five, ten, maybe twenty minutes. The good news is I caught you before school. See, I have a teeny, tiny, little favor I need you to do for me. And before you say no, remember, you owe me."

Jess scoffs. "Please, tell me how in the world I owe you."

"I drove you to the hospital. If it weren't for me, you never would've gone. Ergo, you owe me."

Jess swallows the last of his muffin. "You know, usually I would fight you more on this, but I'm just surprised you know the word ergo and used it correctly in a sentence."

"Hey," She bumps her shoulder into his. "I know words. I know a lot of words. Words are my specialty. I'm like a professional wordsmith."

Jess rolls his eyes. "Fine, I get it, Shakespeare, now get to the point already. What do you want me to do?"

Lorelai takes a breath and says everything at once. "I need you to come with me to Rory's swearing in ceremony at Chilton today to act as a barrier between me and my mom. Okay, bye, have a good day at school."

She tries to slip away, but Jess keeps a grip on her arm. "Whoa, no way. I am not sitting through some stupid student government speeches with your mother. In case you've forgotten, she's not exactly my biggest fan."

"That's not true! That second dinner with her went over great!"

"She only spoke directly to me twice, and one of those times she was just asking me to pass the salt."

"See! Way better than she's ever treated me. Please, Jess, please. Rory sprang it on me this morning that she's going to be there and after everything with Christopher, there's no way I can be stuck with her without pulling a Menendez."

Jess sighs, knowing he's going to regret this. "Where should I meet you?"

Lorelai grins. "I'll pick you up right after school. Thank you _so_ much for this, this is why you are now officially Mommy's favorite."

"I'll alert the media." He says in a deadpan tone. "Now may I go, or are you going to have me pick up your dry cleaning next?"

"Is this you offering, or…"

"Goodbye, Lorelai."

Now that he's finally away from all the crazy ladies in this town, he digs into his backpack for his schedule. Groaning about math first period, calculus unfortunately since this place got wise on the fact that he actually understands all that crap, he takes a glance at the rest of his classes and lets out a curse. Of course this dumb school can't do one thing right, so now instead of going to return Lane her CD, he has to go talk to the idiot that screwed up his schedule.

Jess marches into administration, leaning his arms on the counter. "I need to talk to a counselor about my schedule." He says as a greeting.

An older lady glances up from the computer where she was typing. "Name?" He gives her his name and taps on the counter impatiently as she returns to her computer. "I can get you an appointment during lunch next tuesday. Does that work?"

Jess scoffs. "No way. I need to talk to someone _today._ Right now preferably."

The lady's glare rivals that of Emily's. "If it's this urgent, you should have brought it to someone's attention during the first day of school last week."

"See, I would have, but I missed the first week. _This_ is my first day." Just then the door to the guidance counselor opens up behind her and some kid leaves his office. Some freshman gets up to go in next, but Jess beats him to the punch. The lady behind the desk and the freshman both protest, but that doesn't stop Jess. "I swear, this will just take a sec."

Slipping into the room, the middle aged guidance counselor glances up from the rim of his glasses and does a double take. "You aren't my next appointment."

"No, but I swear, man, my thing's just a quick fix."

He closes the folder on his desk and leans back with a sigh. "Fine, two minutes."

Not wasting any time, Jess fishes out the folded sheet of paper from his pocket. "My schedule's wrong. I didn't sign up for this class." Setting the paper on the desk, he points to his fifth period.

Picking up the paper, he goes over to a file cabinet in the corner of the room. "Mariano, Mariano… Here we are." He brings a file back over to his desk and starts flipping through it until Jess recognizes the form he filled out at the end of last year to pick out this year's classes.

Jess leans forward and points. "See! I signed up for Spanish as my elective."

"Yes, but you didn't fill out any alternates."

Jess shrugs. "So?"

The counselor takes off his glasses. "So, if you don't fill out an alternate and the class you want is full, then the computer will automatically place you in a random class that isn't."

Jess slumps into the chair in front of the desk, pinching the bridge of his nose. He can never catch a break, can he. "Can I transfer to a class that isn't full?"

Putting his glasses back on, the counselor, a Mr. Briggs judging by his name plaque on the desk, starts clacking away on his computer. "I'll see if anything is open, but with it being a week into the school year, most students have already settled into their classes. You should have brought this issue up last week." Jess rolls his eyes, not in the mood to explain that he wasn't here the first week again. After a few minutes, Mr. Briggs flips over Jess' schedule and starts copying down what's on his computer screen. "Look over these options and if you wish to transfer into one of them, just make an appointment with Ms. Clark outside."

"But-"

" _Goodbye,_ Mr. Mariano."

With a huff, Jess snatches the paper back and storms out of the office. Looks like he really _can't_ catch a break.

The only welcome relief Jess has to this horrible, craptastic day is that he has a doctor's note to sit out of gym. While everyone is stuck running laps, he gets to lounge on the bleachers and read. About half way through the period the coach blows a whistle for a five minute break.

Lane and Dean head over, Lane collapsing onto the bench below him while Dean stays standing. Jess marks his place and sits up, figuring he won't get much more reading done in the next five minutes.

"Where were you this morning? We thought Luke made you stay home another day." Dean asks, slightly out of breath still.

"I'm starting to wish he had." Jess grumbles. "A better question is, is she okay?" He points to a panting Lane.

Lane waves him off, still unable to speak.

"What happened? You were excited to get away from Luke's yesterday."

Dean can never take the hint that he wants to drop something. "Nothing. I just brought the wrong book. I was in a George Orwell mood this morning and now I wish I had something a little more Steinbeckish." He turns the attention back onto Lane. "Are you sure she's okay? I think she needs water. Or a new lung."

"Like you're one to talk… Smoker's cough." Lane finally says, slowly sitting up.

"Hey, I haven't had a cigarette in weeks." She slaps his leg. " _Fine._ I haven't got _caught_ with a cigarette in weeks. Happy?"

"Are you sure that's it? Why won't you tell us where you were this morning?" Dean persists.

"Would you get off my back, Mom? If you must know Miss Patty trapped me again with pictures of young, gay singles in the area. Now are we done with the interrogation or would you like to know all the bios she gave me? This time she added some candidates from Woodbridge."

Dean holds up his hands in defeat, accepting his lie. "Alright, calm down. Sorry for caring." With a huff, he goes jogging off.

Lane looks torn, unsure if she should stay or follow after Dean. Jess gestures with his head. "Go. I'm not the best company today anyway."

She gives him a pitiful smile as she pats his arm. "He's just dehydrated. We'll see you at lunch?"

Jess nods, already getting his book out again. With a final smile at him, she runs off after Dean. Today is just one of those days where the universe is just out to get him in particular, isn't it.

By the time fifth period rolls around, Jess is seriously considering skipping. It'd be easy, all he has to do is just walk out. He's done it a thousand times before and they've never stopped him. Hell, he could go to the nurse and say his side is bothering him. Of course, then they would get Luke involved and his uncle would have a whole 'I told you so' moment, which, considering his mood, would just lead to a giant argument between them. And then after all that, he would be right back here the next day with the same exact predicament. He would never admit it out loud, but he can't have Luke ignoring him. Dean's still avoiding him, for the first time not coming to look for him in the library at lunch where he was hiding, and he didn't realize how much of a routine Dean had become for him.

Despite every fiber of his being screaming at him not to, Jess finally enters the class with only the thought that he has to survive a week and then he can transfer out to literally _anything_ else. _Then_ he'll explain things to Dean so everything can go back to normal.

"Jess?"

Nope, nope, nope, nope. No one else was supposed to know. Who did he piss off in a past life to make his current one complete hell.

Keeping his eyes focused straight ahead, Jess takes a seat. "Lane." At least she's sitting in the back.

"Um, are you lost?"

"Nope."

"So you're supposed to be here?"

"Yup."

"As in your name is on the attendance sheet."

"Yup."

"You, Jess Mariano, is in this class."

His head snaps up. "Yes, Lane! Yes! I am in this class! I was an idiot and forgot to mark down an alternate, so they randomly stuck me in here! And if you must know, I _wasn't_ cornered by Miss Patty this morning. I was in the office, arguing to have me transfered, but I have to make an appointment which won't be for another week. So for a _full week,_ I have to come to this god awful class. Are you happy? Because you figured it out! _That's_ why I've been in a terrible mood all day!"

Lane waits a moment. "Are you done? Or are you just catching your breath after that little monologue?"

"Yes, I'm done." They sit in silence for a beat. "Frankly,"

"Apparently he got a second wind." Lane mutters under her breath.

"Who are you to judge me? You're sitting in this class too, right next to me."

"Are you done for real now?" She asks again.

Jess huffs, leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed. "Yes, I'm done for real."

"Okay, here's the deal, my mom is _very_ strict on which classes I'm allowed to take, electives doubly so. Home economics is one of the few Mrs. Kim approved electives that I can take in this school. So it was either this, or a free period where I would have to go home and work in the store for an hour. I chose the option that at least let me keep wearing my AC/DC t-shirt." Jess keeps staring ahead. "Are you seriously just going to sit there and pout?"

"That's the plan."

"Fine." Jess watches out of the corner of his eye as Lane mirrors his position. She gives up mocking him pretty quickly, apparently finding her own second wind. "You live in a diner, the cooking portion should be a piece of cake for you."

Jess snorts. "There's a reason Luke only has me work in the front."

"You can't be that bad."

"I screwed up scrambled eggs." He reluctantly admits.

Lane winces. "Hey, at least you know how to turn the stove on. That's better than Lorelai already."

"I can boil water, hold on while I do a backflip in excitement." He says with a little too much bite than necessary. Luckily Lane just shrugs it off, used to his sarcasm.

"See, already halfway to becoming Emeril Lagasse." She points out.

He smothers a laugh. "How much do you think the teacher will hate me if I yell out bam every time I add an ingredient?" He muses as the teacher begins roll, feeling his mood begin to lighten.

"Very much." She whispers back. "Please do it. I'll take whatever excitement I can in this class."

"Deal. As long as you don't tell _anyone_ that I'm in this class, or you can kiss your Clash CD goodbye."

Lane holds out her fist. "Solidarity, brother." He fists bumps her to seal the deal and then they both go back to having their arms crossed. "And judging by all the face contortions Ms. Bailer is doing, I'm guessing she just realized Jess is, in fact, _not_ short for Jessica."

Now that he's paying attention to their teacher in the front of the room, he smirks at her not-so-subtle glancing between him and her clipboard. "Can you blame her? I'm _literally_ the only guy in this classroom right now." He whispers to Lane as he gives Ms. Bailer a sarcastic little wave, which makes Lane choke on a laugh. Maybe this class won't be so bad after all.

Jess hops into Lorelai's jeep, tossing his bag onto the back seat. "So, did you tell Luke how you shanghaied me into going to this thing with you so he won't send out the national guard?"

"Yup."

Jess does a double take. "You finally talked to Luke?"

"Well, less _talked_ and more wrote a letter that I forced Kirk to deliver."

Jess groans. "This is Kirk we're talking about. You really trust him to do that? The guy still needs his food cut up for him after the knife incident last June."

"Please, do you really think that little of me? I pinned it to Kirk's shirt and watched through the window to make sure Luke read it."

Jess rolls his eyes. "Oh, is that all? Yes, that's much easier than just going in and talking to the guy." There goes his good mood.

"Hey, watch the 'tude." She warns him. They stop at a red light and she glances at him. "What's going on with you? You usually get a kick out of it when people use Kirk as a mail service. Did something happen at school?"

"Nothing." At her silence, he looks away from the window to find her staring at him. "Nothing is going on." He stresses. "The light is green."

She gives him one last look over before turning her attention back to the road. "Okay."

He goes back to watching the world go by as they make their way to Hartford.

"I don't care if you and Luke never speak again." Jess breaks the silence about fifteen minutes into the drive. "But this fight between you two is stressing Rory out, and when Rory is stressed out I face the brunt of it."

Lorelai sighs. "Jess…"

"No, don't Jess me. Like I said, I don't care, but Rory does. She's freaking out and is scared, and just wants everything to go back to the way it was. She wants it to be normal again."

Lorelai pulls off to the side of the road and turns off the car, giving Jess her full, undivided attention. "Rory told you all of that?"

Jess nods.

Lorelai thinks about her words carefully, figuring he isn't just talking about Rory's concerns. "Well, tell Rory this is just a phase. Like all things, this will pass. She has nothing to worry about. Okay?"

Jess nods again.

She gives him a reassuring smile. "Okay." she turns the car back on and starts driving again. "So, we got a mouse at the inn." She says, changing the subject.

"Huh." He keeps staring out the window.

"Yup. And Sookie is threatening to feed vegetarians meat again."

"Hopefully it won't be that mouse." He's still staring out the window, but at least she's getting full sentences out of him now.

"Let's see, what else, what else? Oh! _Kirk_ asked me out on a date! Well, technically he asked me out two weeks from now."

 _That_ one is a winner. Jess' head spins around and he chokes on a laugh. "Way to bury the lead! Where is he taking you? Is it his place? I bet his mother will be there too!"

She suppresses a shudder. "I am totally not going anywhere with him."

"So you've said no already? I hope you let him down gently, he's very sensitive. I was on the phone once and he kept talking to me, so I told him to shut up and he just started crying in the middle of the diner." She gives him an appalled look, so he shrugs. "Relax, I gave him a free slice of pie when I got off the phone. If you need a way to let him down easy, try giving him the mouse from the inn."

"I haven't exactly gotten around to the no part yet, but I've been busy, okay? And that mouse gift isn't a bad idea."

"Can I be there when you say no?"

"No!"

"C'mon, please? I'll bring a slice of pie for him."

She shakes her head. "No way, Jose."

Jess crosses his arms. "Killjoy."

She glances at him from the corner of her eye. He's not all the way back to normal, but he's in a lot better mood then how he was before. Hopefully this thing will go fast and Rory can bring up his mood even more.

Jess struggles to keep up as Lorelai drags him through the halls. "Time!" She yells and skids to a stop, causing him to bump into her.

"Three oh one." Rory says from the entrance of the auditorium. "Oh, hi, Jess."

He gives her a small wave as he leans against the wall to catch his breath.

"Damn! So close!"

"It's fine, it doesn't start until three fifteen."

They both stare at her. "You mean to say, I just ran through these halls, _against_ my doctor's orders I might add, for nothing?" Jess complains, still out of breath.

"Hey, try doing it in heels, pal." Lorelai points out.

"I think me having a major surgery counts a little higher than your shoes."

Lorelai scoffs. "You're getting your stitches out tomorrow, you'll be fine." Rory ignores them, instead just heading for their seats as they follow. "Where's my mom anyway? I bet you told _her_ the real time."

"Because Grandma can handle structure. Here you are, put your purse on Grandma's seat to save it." Rory tells her mom, then heads off to the stage.

"Put your purse on the seat to save it." Lorelai mocks in a high pitch voice.

She sits in the aisle seat while Jess goes two down, saving the middle seat for Emily. He glances around at the sea of kids in nice uniforms and parents in their fancy clothes. Even Lorelai is dressed up a bit. It makes him all of a sudden very self conscience to the fact he has a hole in the knee of his jeans and his red punk planet t-shirt on.

"You shoulda let me stop home and change." He mutters to her.

She looks him up and down. "Since when have you cared about how you're dressed?"

"Since I look like Raggedy Ann around all the Ken and Barbie dolls."

"Psh, you're fine. It's nothing like I wore on Rory's first day, I looked like an extra from the _Dukes of Hazzard._ Booty shorts and all."

Jess still isn't too sure, but Lorelai's already busy reading the program that was on everyone's seats. Spotting Emily on her way over, Jess pulls his book out of his back pocket, hoping she won't bother him if he's preoccupied with something else. His plan works and she just gives him a small nod in greeting before starting a conversation with her daughter. Lorelai subtly glares at him over Emily's shoulder, causing him to smirk into his book.

"Sibling or girlfriend?" A voice asks from behind him.

He turns to find some boy his age leaning forward. "Excuse me?"

"I noticed you aren't wearing these _extremely_ uncomfortable uniforms, meaning you're here at this snooze fest on your own free will for someone that _is_ forced here. So, my question remains, sibling or girlfriend?"

"Great deduction, Sherlock. And, um, neither, I guess." Jess rolls his eyes as he goes back to his book, thinking that's the end of this weird interaction.

"Oh. Boyfriend then?"

Jess spins back around. "What? No! I'm just here for my friend, okay?"

The guy holds up his hands in surrender as he chuckles. "Okay, sorry. Who's the friend?"

"Has anyone ever told you you talk a lot?"

He nods. "Yup. Now who's the friend?"

Jess sighs. He's like a dog with a bone. "Rory Gilmore." Jess answers, hoping it will get him to go away. He also turns back to his book, thinking that will help send the message to leave him alone.

"Cool! Rory's awesome, I work with her on the school paper. Does that mean you're from the same town as her? Stars Hollow?"

Jess doesn't bother looking up from his book this time. "It's where I hang my hat at night."

"Man, I wish I lived in a small town. Hey, do you know who wrote on her cast last year? He signed it Dodger?"

"Me."

"No way!" Yeah, he walked into that one. "Dude, I owe you my gratitude. Seriously."

"And how is that exactly?" He halfheartedly asks, keeping his eyes on his book.

"You got Paris off everyone's back. She's the editor and is constantly hounding everyone. When you wrote on Rory's cast, that got her hunting for some fake brother for a week straight."

Jess marks his place in his book, suddenly much more interested in this conversation. "It really took her a week to figure out Rory doesn't have a brother?" He asks, turning slightly in his seat.

"She thought she was uncovering some big Hartford socialites conspiracy. It was fun while it lasted."

"Bummer I missed it."

"It was one of the most productive weeks we've ever had. I'm Oliver Stone by the way. I'm assuming your real name isn't Dodger, unless you're parents were really big Dickens fans." He holds his hand out to shake.

Jess smirks at the hand before figuring it won't kill him to play nice this once and shakes it. "I'd be surprised if my mom even knew who Charles Dickens was. The name's Jess."

"Very nice to put a name and face to the prank." An old man clears his throat at the podium and the auditorium starts to quiet down. Oliver reaches over and grabs Jess' book, pulling out a pen. He starts to write on the title page. "Here's my number, call me and I'll tell you all about Paris' trip down the rabbit hole you caused."

Jess takes his book back with a nod. "Will do." He whispers.

"Jess, face forward and pay attention. You are being disrespectful of the Headmaster right now." Emily scolds to his right.

"I better…" Jess gestures to the stage with a grin.

Oliver fails to hide his own grin. "Yeah, probably for the best."

Jess turns back around and searches out Rory on stage. She makes eye contact with him and shoots him a look that clearly screams 'behave'. He rolls his eyes and gives her a subtle little wave in return.

Rory's speech was great, as expected. He still makes faces at her the whole time, trying to get her to break, but she manages to get by by never looking in his direction. But no matter how good Rory's speech was, it doesn't beat the masterpiece that was Paris' speech. Rory's was a standard cut and paste student government speech while Paris' on the other hand was something altogether... Paris. Rory and Jess keep looking at each other during the whole speech trying to rein in their laughter.

Everything goes downhill from there. The rest of the speeches are dry, long winded, and a complete snoozefest. After the third time of him nodding off and Emily nudging him awake, he opens his book where he left off earlier and starts reading. He notices her about to scold him for that too, when she gives up and instead orders Lorelai to sit up straight.

When the torture session finally ends, Jess follows Lorelai and her mother out into the hallway, where they wait for Rory to join them.

"Hey!" Rory runs up to them with a smile. Jess stays back as Rory hugs her grandma and makes some small talk with her and her mom. When she finishes she turns to Jess. "I need to get my backpack from my locker, wanna come?"

Jess stuffs his hands in his pockets and shrugs. "Why not, but I'm not tipping you at the end of this tour."

She leads him away, and he's glad to be away from the two elder Gilmores. The tension between the two was thick enough to cut with a knife. "I saw you made a new friend." She comments as they enter an empty hallway.

Jess shrugs again. "He talked a lot." Is all he says.

Rory nods in agreement. "Yeah, Oliver doesn't have much of a filter, but he's written some good pieces. Definitely one of the nicer Chilton Prep kids."

"He thought my cast prank against Paris was funny, so that's a check in the pro column." He admits. He leaves out the part where he's planning on calling him tonight, figuring she would tease him mercilessly otherwise.

"Oh! That was my english class sophomore year." She shakes his arm to get his attention and points at one of the classes. "It was there that I had my first ever truancy _and_ the first time I ever got sent to the Headmaster's office." He stops and starts looking around. Rory stops too and crosses her arms unimpressed. "Okay, what are you doing?"

"Looking for the swarm of locus. That's the next sign of the apocalypse."

He cracks a grin, causing her to slap his arm. "Stop it! I had one bad day. I was up all night cramming for a test so I overslept, and then on the way to school I got hit by a deer."

"You hit a deer?"

"No, I got hit _by_ a deer." She corrects him.

He thinks about that. "I'm sorry, how do you get hit _by_ a deer?"

"I was at a stop sign and the deer just charged at the jeep out of nowhere."

"Did he at least have good insurance?" Rory rolls her eyes, walking away from him. He chases after her, not finished. "How did the police report go? Was Bambi charged with a hit and gallop? Rory, these are important questions that Snow White and her seven dwarves are dying to know."

The two meet Lorelai at the jeep and Jess gets to the front seat first. "Nope, both of you, backseat." She says as soon as he opens the door, hitching a thumb behind her.

"Why?"

"Because, that's where the traitors sit. Now backseat, traitor."

Rory climbs into the back, accepting her fate, while Jess stands his ground. "Hey, you made me come to this thing, so why am I getting lumped in with the madam vice president back there?"

"Your job was to buffer. You didn't do that job and now I'm stuck having lunch with Stalin tomorrow."

Jess scoffs. "What're you talkin' about? She was on my case left and right the whole time."

"Jess, please get in the car. I have a paper due tomorrow that I need to get home and finish." Rory asks him.

If it were anyone else, he'd say hell no and keep fighting this, but since this is Rory he sighs and climbs in next to her, crossing his arms. "This isn't over. It was my turn to have the front seat."

Rory pats his shoulder. "Don't worry, you can have the front seat next time, and the time after that too. Better?"

"It'll do." He grumbles.

Lorelai listens from the front seat as Rory teases Jess about the friend he made. She refrains from teasing him as well, secretly glad he branched out a little and made a friend on his own. From what she knows through Rory and Luke, the only other kids his age that he's friends with are Dean and Lane, and they were more of a default friendship through Rory than anything else.

Speaking of Luke, she should probably go talk to him today. As much as she would rather go take a nice acid bath instead, her mom wants to meet her at Luke's for lunch tomorrow. There was no way she was going to admit her and Luke were fighting, because then the next question would be _why_ they were fighting. As mad as she is at Luke, she would never betray his trust like that. She promised him she would keep his secret and she meant it, no matter how much she disagrees with his actions.

And she still _very_ much disagrees with what he did. Sure, after she calmed down and thought about what he said about not wanting to hurt Jess, she understood why he kept Jess' adoption a secret. Just watching him now through the rearview mirror as he teases Rory back about her speech, she _really_ gets where Luke's coming from when he says he doesn't want to add anymore pain to the poor kid.

But just because she understands Luke's motives does not mean she approves of them. There's nothing anyone can say that can change her mind on this. Luke's just too much heart and not enough head, he always has been and he'll probably always will be. He fixes the nows and doesn't think down the line on how that might affect the future.

Dropping off Rory and Jess at the house, she makes a quick excuse about going to pick up some food before leaving without ever getting out of the jeep. The lie just slips out, not wanting to get their hopes up about her and Luke making up, only for the two of them to fall back into not speaking.

She parks around the corner from the diner, out of sight from the owner. Sitting with the car off, she tries to will herself into getting out. After a small self motivating words, she finallys builds up the courage to get out of her car and march into the diner.

Luke himself is busy at the counter, the place starting to fill up since it's the start of the dinner rush.

"Just seat yourself wherever, I'll be right with you." Luke says, not looking up from a receipt.

With one last deep breath, Lorelai walks up to the counter. "Luke, I need to talk to you."

"I'm busy." He doesn't look up.

"Please, Luke, just five minutes."

He glances up at her, not pleased to see her. "Go away." He growls.

Lorelai rolls her eyes. "C'mon, Luke, I'll do all the talking, all you have to do is listen."

He slams his pencil down on the counter, getting the attention of a few nearby customers. "Oh, so _now_ you wanna talk? After you kidnap my kid, you wanna talk? This oughta be good."

She scoffs. "I did not _kidnap_ Jess. I left you a note _and_ he had his phone the whole time. Either of you could have called the other at any time."

Luke crosses his arms. "You took the kid that is under _my_ care without my permission. _That_ is kidnapping."

 _Like how you made Jess sign adoption forms without_ his _permission._ Lorelai keeps herself from yelling in the middle of the diner. "Backroom. Now." She grits out instead.

They both head for the storeroom and Lorelai turns on him the second the door closes. "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"You! With your perfect parenting and your answers for every little thing! I don't get it! It was a battle to get Jess to stay in the apartment after having his freakin' appendix taken out for just one week, then you show up and get him to sit through some stupid speeches with you and your mother of all people! I just don't get it!"

Lorelai gives a dry chuckle. "You're mad I took him to see Rory's speech?"

All the fight leaves Luke as he slumps in place. "No, just- When he first got here I was nothing but nice and caring for him, while you two fought like cats and dogs. Now he likes you better than me."

She forgets the reason she came here for in the first place as she shakes her head. "Luke, he does not like me better than you. Why would you think that?"

"He practically said as much yesterday. I wouldn't let him stay down here, so he muttered under his breath how you would have let him stay downstairs."

Lorelai pinches the bridge of her nose as she laughs lightly. "Oh, Luke, you are so off base." She puts her hand down. "He said that because he was just trying to trick you into letting him stay downstairs."

"What? Really?"

She nods. "Yup. It's a classic, 'Dad said no, but if Mom were here she'd say yes'. I myself have been known to pull that trick a time or two."

Luke sits down on a crate as he processes that. "Oh. Then sorry about the whole accusing you of child abduction thing."

She sits down next to him. "Easy mistake, happens all the time."

Luke runs both his hands down his face. "I just seem to be making those left and right. I can't even go one week without you stepping in and having to fix things."

"Nothing was broken to start with. Look, this is not me saying what you did was right and that I approve, but I do get it. I've been there for Rory through her father missing all the birthdays and Christmases, and I would do anything to keep her from having to go through that pain again. If this is really how you wanna do this, then okay. You won't hear anymore complaining from me."

"Thank you. And I will tell him when the time is right."

"Promise?"

"I promise." He assures her.

"Good. Now, what time are you taking Jess to the doctor tomorrow?"

"Four. Why?" He questions the drastic topic change.

"Super, you'll be here at one when me and my mom show up for lunch here." She glances at her watch. "Wow! Would you look at the time? I need to go pick up dinner. Good talk, Luke, I'll see you tomorrow." She pats him on the knee as she gets up, hightailing it to the door, all the while ignoring Luke's protests.


End file.
